Your every wish is my command
by LaughingTragedy
Summary: Your every deepest desire brought to life but I'm warning you there's always a price. The nations get a hold of a genie, what do they wish for? Who gets to wish for it? Well that's up to you. Warning: Audience has control of story, (possibly) vulgar humor, bad grammar, and stereotypes
1. Chapter 1

The nations were having a rather normal meeting, by which I mean they were seconds away from trying to slice each other's throats. But that all changed when a large rift between dimensions opened up in the center. Let's face it it's not the strangest thing they've seen or done.

After the flash was gone, a black oil lamp that glowed red was in the middle of the room.

America, seeing Aladdin one to many times, ran towards it shouting, "MINE!"

As soon as his greasy fingers touched it a strange red mist came from it.

After it filled the room, a pair of dark black eyes appeared before the nations.

It spoke in a deep, masculine, and surprisingly thick British voice,

"_YOU HAVE SUMMON- Wait..." _He looked around and groaned when he saw his audience, "_Oh Christ, it had to be you little sods again?" _

The mist disappeared and in it's place appeared what looked like an albino who dyed his hair black and was forced into a Jafar outfit. The nations recognized him as the OC I usually shoehorn into these stories, Mr. Bart C. Cadillac.

"Ugh, let's just get this over with." He pulled out a piece of paper and read aloud, "Let it be known whoever discovers this lamp shall gain control over it's inhabitant who must grant wishes until someone sets him free."

"Isn't it 3 wishes?"

"The guy who stuck me in this is an asshole. So looks like I'm stuck here again, who wants free wishes?"

After hearing that last line, the nations swarmed the Englishman.

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><p><strong>Me: As you can see this will be somewhat cracky. <strong>

**Mr. C: Why am I stuck with these ****_creatures _****again?**

**Me: I was to lazy to come up with a new character. Anyway, comment who should get the first wish and what it should be, ciao.**


	2. Chapter 2: Yaoi and Tea!

And from the dog pile of nations came Hungary, who was clutching the lamp with all her might. After using her frying pan to smack the others' grubby little hands away, she went out in the hall and rubbed the lamp.

Before Mr. C could get out of his tiny prison, Hungary made a quick wish,

"I WISH THE DOOR WILL CLOSE AND WAS BARRICADED!"

He did as she said, sadly China's fingers were caught by the door.

"AIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Sorry Yao." Bart then turned to his current master, "So what do you wan-" He paused when he recognized her "Yaoi Fangirl" face. He sighed and asked whose gonna get a Cupid's arrow(along with something else) shoved up their ass.

She thought for a moment, then got a nosebleed, and then finally whispered into his ear. He bowed and said, "Your every wish is my command, master." He said that last line through his pointed teeth. He then went back to mist form and went back into the meeting room.

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><p>As China was cradling his blistered hand, he noticed a strange red mist appear before him. The mist turned into Mr. C, who was holding a bow and a few heart-shaped arrows. Bart turned to China and his eyes went to his hand.<p>

"O-oh, about that..." He disappeared before China could hit him, causing Yao to smash his good hand on the table.

"FUUUUUUUUUUU-!"

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><p>Bart appeared high above and aimed his bow at the mob of nations at the door.<p>

_From hell's heart, I shoot at thee_

He fired, and hitting America, Russia, France, and South Korea.

Russia felt a sudden pain in his back and looked around for who did it. Until his eyes landed on China. Then he felt something else start to throb.

"W-why are you looking at me like that?"

"Become one with me Yao Yao." And after he saw the perverted smile on his face, he began to run as fast as he can.

Meanwhile, America and France's eyes met, causing the pervert (pick one) to strip down to his censored stones and tackle the other. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

As South Korea was currently trying to grope a certain Canadian he somehow managed to see, Bart made his way back down, wondering how long will it take for them to realize he'-

"GOT YA! YOU WANKER!"

At that moment, Bart began to sob and struggle, "NO! NO! I DON'T WANNA BE YOUR SERVANT AGAIN!"

But sadly, England managed to somehow get the lamp and began to rub it, causing it to suck Bart back inside.

The Englishman clutched the lamp close to his chest and whispered into it, "I wish I had my empire back, and you must now refer to me as Lord Kirkland again."

The genie said, "As you wish, master." he let out one last wail and did as he said.

* * *

><p>America felt strange, he then felt weak, he then felt the need to drink tea.<p>

"YES! THE BRITISH EMPIRE IS BACK YA WANKERS!"

The nations turned to him, seeing he was in hold of the genie and in unison said,

"GET HIM!"

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><p><strong>Mr. C: Really? Dick jokes?<strong>

**Me: To be fair Hidekaz did one during the giant condom episode. **

**Mr. C: Whatever, so whose hands am I gonna fall in after this?**

**Me: I don't know, it's up to the audience.**

**Mr. C: Oh fuck me.**

**France: GLADLY! *starts chasing the OC***


	3. Chapter 3: insert pun here

After England has his teeth kicked in and turned back into a lowly nation, Bart somehow ended up in the hands of the Baltics. Who were about to be swarmed also.

Estonia immediately began rubbing the lamp and caused some white substance to come out of the tip. "I WISH WE WERE HOME!"

The Baltics then huddled together, waiting for the inevitable attack.

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><p>Latvia began to wonder why it was taking so long to be pummeled.<p>

"You can stop that now, you're safe."

The Baltics jumped when they heard Bart's voice and began to grovel at his feet.

"Uh, you realize I'M the one whose the slave and not you guys right?"

The Baltics got up and apologized, "It's a force of habit, so... Is their a limit on wishes?"

"Nope."

The Baltics huddled again, debating on what they should wish for.

"I want a little brother!"

"I can could use a new laptop."

Lithuania thought long and hard about his wish, "I think I have a better idea." He whispered in to Estonia's ear, causing him to get a devious smile and turn to the genie.

"We're ready for our wish."

* * *

><p>China was currently in the closet, hiding from Russia.<p>

"You can't hide from me for ever Ya-"

China opened the door to see Russia was gone,

"Oh thank Tao it's over, aru."

"I hear big brother has an interest in you."

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><p>Russia found himself in Lithuania's house and for some reason he was in a maid dress.<p>

"Payback time."

Ivan turned to see Lithuania holding a whip and smiling.

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><p><strong>Mr. C: Will, that was worth a week long wait.<strong>

**Me: Blow me, I got a ton of wish requests, had to write 3 different projects for school, 2 family reunions, and I'm starting on a script for a review show I plan on doing.**

**Mr. C: Review show?**

**Me: Yeah, it's gonna be similar to the Nostalgia Critic.**

**Mr. C: So you're gonna skewer a series that will no doubt piss off the fanbase?**

**Me: Yep.**

**Mr. C: What series ar- *realizes the series I use for comedic stories* Oh you are so dead.**

**Me: Yep, anyway I'll try to get to the other wishes as soon as I can, ciao.**


	4. Chapter 4:Goodbye 5 meters!

**Mr. C: *after reading the last chapter* Why is your humor getting raunchier? **

**Me: I've been looking at boogily's works while listening to Bob Saget. **

**Mr. C: Ah.**

* * *

><p>After a few (hundred) lashes, Lithuania finally stopped and grabbed Russia by the hair, practically livid,<p>

"Now you're gonna lick my-"

* * *

><p>Estonia heard a knock at the door and went to open it, only to have it fall on him and get stepped on by a mob of nations.<p>

Mr. C found this peculiar, "Uh, how the fuck did you all get here so fast?"

"Rule of funny."

"Ah." Bart then ran as fast as he could towards the door, making sure none of them touched him. Sadly, he forgot to grab the lamp which was picked up by everyone's favorite albino.

When Mr. C saw whose his new master, he dug his claw-like nails into the floor as the lamp began to suck him in,

"OH GOD NO! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME! DON'-" The poor sap was sucked in before he could finish that line. Prussia quickly wished he was home and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Well shit, now how are we gonna find him?"

"I know!" The nations then tried to stop England before he opened his spell book, but alas, they were too late.

The group then disappeared, leaving Russia to his S&M nightmare (or wet dream depending on who you ship him with).

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><p>Prussia materialized in his (brother's) basement and immediately locked the door. He then summoned the only man paler than him.<p>

Bart groaned, "What do you want?"

He sighed when he saw the perverted grin on the albino's , after getting a very nasty idea, Bart smiled.

* * *

><p>The nations appeared in the front of Germany's house, covered in what appeared to be some strange black bile and muttering something about "sss-so big and green", giving England enough time to go in.<p>

"I'll be an empire again before you can s-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The blood curdling scream came from inside the house and ,just as England was about to open the door, Prussia ran out holding his now horribly bloody crotch.

Kirkland turned to the door to see Bart, with a large amount of blood(and something else) dripping down his mouth. More to his surprise, the fanged abomination tossed the lamp to England,

"Note, if you plan on wishing for what he wished for, make sure to say no teeth."

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><p><strong>Mr.C:... It's times like this I hate being a fictional character.<strong>

**Me: Why? **

**Mr. C: I'm basically a puppet used to entertain a bunch of perverted sadists.**

**Me: So are most of the funniest and legendary animated characters of all time, now be quiet and wait for the next chapter.**

**Mr. C: You talking to me or the audience?**

**Me: Let's leave that up to them. **


	5. Chapter 5: Who are you?

**Mr. C: *after reading the last chapter* Dafuq? Why are they covered in black bile?**

**Me: Really? That's the part that irks you? The part where you're forced to suck off an albino doesn't disgust you or anything?**

**Mr. C: Oh please, that's what I do every Friday night. **

**Me: Okay, I think we creeped out the audience enough, let's switch the focus back to the nations.**

* * *

><p>To England's surprise, the lamp stopped in midair and began to move in the opposite direction.<p>

"What the bloody hell?"

England tried to grab it but tripped on a polar bear cub.

Meanwhile, Canada whispered, "I wish the others could know what it feels like to be invisible."

* * *

><p>Bart was in the house, wiping the bodily fluids he didn't swallow off his face, when he felt something su-<p>

"Can you stop it with the innuendo jokes? They're getting old."

Fine, he felt as though his legs were being dipped into lava and he was sucked back outside.

* * *

><p>When he got out he saw his new master and sighed, "Okay Matt, what do you want?"<p>

"Uh, didn't you hear me before?"

"No, I was inside wiping nation blood/cream off my face. It's not like you have Alfred's voice."

The Canadian sighed and was about to repeat himself, when he realized the nations were acting like they saw Cthulhu. "Can you fix them, eh?"

The maniac groaned and snapped his fingers, and the nations tried to grab Canada's lamp.

"I-i wish we were at my house!"

The genie did as he was asked, leaving the nations stranded again.

"Lemme just get out my sp-"

Arthur was immediately tackled and beaten viciously by his peers, so his average Sunday night.

* * *

><p>After being disintegrated and rebuilt in his home, Canada collapsed onto his couch.<p>

"So, now shall I grant that wish from before?"

Matthew just motioned his hand, far too exhausted to do anything else, and Bart took that as a yes.

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><p>After regaining their sanity, the nations then realized they we're invisible.<p>

"Are we dead?"

"No, by the looks of it we're just invisible."

"Invisible you say?" The others heard a few muffled laughs and the sound of zippers, deciding it was best ignored, the nations decided to go to,

"Um, who the fuck wished for this?"

"I think his name is Camera, da?"

"No no no, it was, it was... I know he's one of my kids..."

"I'm pretty sure he's my neighbor, come on everyone follow the Hero!"

* * *

><p><em>One uninspired comedy routine later<em>

Canada, woke up to the sound of voices, except this time they weren't in his head. He at first thought he was just having another episode, until he felt someone grab his hair. Thought I was gonna say something else huh.

He clutched onto the lamp for dear life and said,

"I wish I knew what was happening."

And with a flash of light, the nations could see themselves again. They could also see France took the opportunity to run around in the nude while invisible.

The nations were of course to transfixed on the lamp and paid no attention to him. America was able to grab it quickly and wished he was at his house, he then disappeared, leaving the nations at Canada's house.

After awhile they forgot why they were there, or where they were.

"Uh, does anyone remember wher-" England paused when he saw Francis, "Why the fuck aren't you wearing clothes?"

"Why not?"

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><p><strong>Me: And we'll go to the Aladdin themed wish next chapter, and then Russia's, if you want you can still comment a wish. Ciao.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: American Aladdin

**Me: I'm back. **

***cowers as the crowd begins to boo***

**Me: And I have a chapter not focusing on sophomoric sex jokes!**

**Mr. C: Finally, so what's gonna happen this round?**

**Me: Ever seen Aladdin?**

**Mr. C: Oh Christ...**

* * *

><p>Bart started rubbing his temples as Alfred went over his wishlist,<p>

"I want a gun that can shoot hamburgers, and a bald eagle that can carry England and take commands, and an American flag that serves as a flying carpet."

The genie groaned as he did as the blonde told, who immediately put the gun in his mouth.

Bart smiled at this and imagined the gun used actual bullets and that Alfred wasn't immortal.

"You gotta try this!"

_Oh God, what did I do to des-_

Bart pondered for a minute and remembered his frat days. _Oh yeah, that. _

"I got another wish!"

The genie wiped bits of burger off of his blazer and bowed his head to the blonde. "What is your wish my (idiotic) master?"

"I want to be Aladdin! The one based off of Tom Cruise, and with Russia as the bad guy!"

"Who the fuck is gonna be Jasmine then? There aren't that many females among you, come to think of it you guys are like Smurfs, only more annoying."

"What?" Alfred was too busy thinking of who plays who that he didn't hear a single thing Bart said.

"Never mind, let's just get this over with before Disney sues my author's ass." The maniac snapped his fingers and the two disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

><p>The nations were unbelievably tired after walking all the way from.<p>

"Where were we a second ago again?"

"Shut up you sods, we finally made it to America's house so le-" all of the nations went up in smoke just as England reached for the door knob.

* * *

><p><strong>Mr. C: So this is what it's like being an author.<strong>

Alfred woke up to see he was in parachute pants, a vest, and had a lovable monkey sidekick, who looked a lot like,

"England?"

The monkey was wearing an attire similar to Alfred, except he had fake eyebrows taped to his head.

_Why didn't I just wish that we never met Bart? _The British baboon sat on America's shoulder.

"You look so adorable, here wanna banana?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, LT was biting his hand while thinking.<p>

_Must resist joke, MUST RESIST JOKE!_

* * *

><p>The pissed off monkey bit Alfred's hand and went off, in search of the asshole who made him a monkey. Leaving Alfred sidekick-less.<p>

"Well shit."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile in the desert, a very lar-<p>

"Finish that sentence and I break you, da?"

A very tall and muscular man.

"Better."

Was currently in front of a desert cave with a red and yellow parrot on his shoulder, that began to squawk,

"Why am I the bird, aru!?"

"Would YOU rather be the one who has to go on a suicide mission?" Russia kept his child-like smile as the Chinese parrot kept his beak shut.

Speaking of which, a certain group of Baltics were cowering before the Russian's feet.

"PLEASE DON'T SEND US IN THERE!"

"Too late." Russia grabbed Latvia, stretched him as far as he could, and launched him into the cave like a rubber band.

* * *

><p>Latvia landed on a slab of sandstone, bright side his body is mostly made up of rubber. Which explains why he can be used as an accordion.<p>

He looked around and saw numerous jewels, gold, and a familiar lamp. He was about to take it, until my author realized that would've created a huge plothole. So the cave collapsed on him, not killing him but crushing him under the weight of a variety of precious metals with no chance of escape.

* * *

><p>Russia scratched his head and looked to the last two Baltics, "Well, start digging."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Me: Let's make this one a two-parter.<strong>

**Mr. C: So you have no fucking clue what to do now?**

**Me: No, I just wanted to get feedback before I continue, and get a few more wishes that can supply me with non-raunchy humor material. **

**Mr. C: Don't you have another wish that I'm yet to fulfill?**

**Me: You mean the one where Russia gets all the "bitches"? I said non-raunchy humor. Cya at a later date audience.**


End file.
